Wednesday, October 15, 2008

My Secret

When I still lived in my little dorpie, I regularly had my check up’s at the gynaecologist and although I pretty much cringed throughout the entire ordeal, at least I knew that majority of the time I was healthy and my poen was normal.

I then moved to the city and the thought of having another strange guy dig around in my bits was too much so I kept postponing, for like 2 years! In May this year I was in my dorpie for a week and decided to get my check up’s done, just for peace of mind. Well that fucking didn’t happen.

Within 2 days of having my poen inspected by Doctor “Open wide”, I found myself being prepped for surgery. It all happened rather fast and when the words Cervical Cancer were mentioned I nearly had a heart attack.

That said, half my cervix was chopped out and I was advised to start thinking about starting a family…. Heavy fucking stuff! When I spoke to GM about it and discussed all the detail, he appeared worried, but not overly concerned. That bugged me.

This overly personal confession is going somewhere….. I have to go back for my check up in 3 weeks time and I am fucking terrified. Not in any way prepared for what may or may not be found again.

The fact is I am single now and if Doctor “Open Wide” gives me bad news, well erm, what then? Google sperm banks? I want nothing more in this world than to become a mother and if he tells me I can’t, I am going to be seriously miffed.

Perhaps I should start looking for a potential sperm donor. Hottie comes to mind instantaneously and the advantage there is that I could do it the natural way :-)

Mmmmmm, heavy thoughts for this time of the morning. Going to join Hottie for coffee and a smoke *wink*



po said...

Gosh that is stressful stuff! I have never ever ben to a gynae, I think a visit is probably waaaay overdue!

Tay said...

Hiya Po :-)

Yes, I am doing everything possible right now to keep my mind off it! The whole gynae thing is daunting to think about, but trust me rather go now than endure all this nonsense later on!

angel said...

holy crap thats harsh!!!

Anonymous said...

hectic, doll.

hope you're doing better, and that Hottie is keeping you well distracted.

Tay said...

Angel - Harsh but I suppose everything happens for a reason and maybe it was time for me to wake up :-)

ExMi - Doing okay.... Hottie and I were out again last night *wink*