My dad moved in with his fiancé a while back and seeing as they had double of almost everything, he gave me his DSTV decoder. Yesterday I decided that I would get the thing up and connected so that I could finally start watching all my fav programmes again…
The entire sequence of events as follows:
1. Phone Customer Care to have account activated. This conversation lasts a total of 20 minutes, 5 of which was spent talking to a machine.
2.After I have been assured account is activated, I inspect decoder only to establish that darling daddy did not give me a power cable…
3. Lock up house and jump into car, rush to the shop down the road.
4.Get to the shop and am confronted with the most intellectually challenged female I have ever met *frustration increases*.
Tay: “Hi there, do you perhaps sell power cables for a Dstv decoder?”
Dumb chick: “Uh …… uh…… uh…… I fink maybe, let me check the list” **Tay smiles sweetly*
DC: “I carn’t find it by my list, let me call the manger” *Tay still smiles sweetly*
5. The manager eventually comes to my rescue and brings me the damn power cable.
6. As I am turning into the driveway at home, Hottie’s car is parked in the driveway **YAY!
He offers to cook dinner for us because I insist that I am fully capable of installing a stoooopid decoder.
7. Hottie is in the kitchen and Tay is connecting the satellite Tv – roll reversal, I think so.
8. After I am satisfied with putting all the “in” cables in the “out” sockets or whatever, I switch the Tv on in a moment of glory and …………. Nothing.
9. Hottie offers to have a look , I give him the “If you come near this decoder you will feel the wrath of Tay” stare.
10.Phone the customer care line, speak to machine for five minutes and finally a technician dude tries to assist me. He makes me change settings, pull out connections and………….nothing. After 32 minutes of chatting to customer care dude he tells me to call in a certified installer.
11. I am seriously miffed by this stage and pour myself some Vino while Hottie quietly observes from the kitchen.
12.Eventually I relent and Hottie inspects my handiwork. He finally has a brainwave and decides to change a few connections because he is convinced the previous tenant confused the cables.
TA DA….. satellite Tv is working, for about 30 seconds.
13. I again call customer care, speak to the fucking machine and finally, finally they activate my account. Voila – I have Satellite television.
My shattered nerves……
Ps# Supper was absolutely divine!