Today, 10 years ago, my Brother passed away. I cannot believe the time has gone so quickly. They say it gets easier and I guess in a way it does but little things sometimes catch you unawares and you feel a stab in your heart that takes your breath away.
I wish I could put a picture in this post of my handsome Brother. He had the most sparkly blue eyes and dark brown hair. It happened on numerous occasions that girls would befriend me to get to know my Brother.
So I have written a letter to my blue eyed boy, guess in a way it’s therapy.
I wish you knew how much I miss you. It feels as though you went off to another country or something and one day you will be back. Often something happens and I wish I could tell you about it or there will be something that makes me laugh and I know you would be in stitches about it too.
I miss having a sibling, my confidant, the person who would get up to all sorts of shit with me. I get scared that I will forget what you look like or how you looked when you smile. Your photo is next to my bed though and whenever I feel sad I just sit and chat to you. Sometimes I wonder if you are okay and get frustrated that I can no longer take care of you.
You touched so many people’s lives; so many people loved you (still do). Sometimes I get so angry knowing you won’t be at my wedding nor will my kids have an uncle that I can guarantee you now, they would have loved.
I cannot help but laugh whilst remembering the day we danced in kitchen to that “Dirty Dancing” song. You flung me into every kitchen cupboard possible and we laughed and giggled until we cried.
Brother, I hope wherever you are, you are happy and at peace. I know you are looking after all of us when we are least aware of it.
You were the greatest Brother any sister could ask for and I love and miss you more than you could ever know.
Rest In Peace Brother.