I have been presented with some challenges this week, minor in comparison to others but these are challenges that irk me emotionally as well as on a moral level.
You may think I am being a judgemental bitch, perhaps this is so. To me there is right or wrong, good or bad, there is no grey area. I need to vent at the moment because at this stage I very highly doubt anyone will understand how I feel and I think I am a bad person for even thinking these thoughts.
So here it goes:
My friend LA (the one who works with me) is pregnant again. Her son is 7 months old. Initially it came as a shock to me and I thought I dealt with it quite well considering I manage a section of her portfolio together with another manager. From a work persepctive she will have worked only 5 months of this year! I am now wracked with jealously though.
Believe me when I say I am so ashamed of even thinking like this. Every time she talks about the pregnancy, be it morning sickness or that she thinks it’s a girl, I cringe inside. I am not sure what the fuck my problem is. Hottie and I made a decision to try for a baby after the wedding and I was okay with this.
This morning though I had to exercise very diplomatic control. LA and her hubby are big Blue Bull supporters. They happened to be given tickets to watch the game on Saturday at Loftus (Super 14 final). While I think this is very cool the next part bugs the crap out of me.
Her 7 month old baby has croup for the second time. She was planning to take the child with to the game however, decided against it when her husband mentioned they would be sitting in a box with smokers. Great. Since then she has been trying to find any person willing to baby sit her son and is completely pissed off with her sister for not wanting to take care of him because she has plans.
Maybe I am judging because I do not have kids of my own. Somehow this whole story doesn’t sit well with me.
Suppose different strokes for different folks. Now that I have vented, feel much better. Sweet Tay is now back.
And no I will not be babysitting because I am going to the folks for the weekend.